
Yesterday was the big day for the sonogram. Our sonographer was very thorough and spent 45 minutes checking the baby out. She did confirm rather quickly that we are having another boy! During the appointment I was trying to take it all in. I was very glad to see that he has 2 hands, 2 legs, 2 eyes, his heart has 4 chambers, etc. The sonographer couldn't say whether anything was wrong and if there is any concern my doctor will call me. From what I could tell he looks healthy and normal. The sonographer commented on how active he was (making it hard to get a good shot of him)and called him a bucking bronco to which I looked at Ben and said, "We already have 2 of those at home." :)
To be real honest with you the rest of my day was challenging. I had hoped that we might have a girl, but I also thought about how fun it would be to have 3 boys. I really thought that I would be okay if a girl wasn't in the picture for us, but my emotions quickly kicked in and I did feel somewhat of a disappointment which startled me. I got in the car and quickly called my mom. I was trying to be upbeat, but she could tell even though she didn't say anything. I then called her back a few minutes later and could hardly get any words out of my mouth. I knew that I would love this baby no matter what, but I still wondered what it would have been like if the sonographer had said GIRL. Part of it was the obvious of wanting to have tea parties and paint toe nails, but the other part was for Ben. I so wanted him to experience what a father daughter relationship was like. Of course that made me think of my own Daddy. Even as I type that tears begin to come. My Daddy loved his girls!! He went above and beyond in loving us and making Robyn and I feel cherished. For example, he would leave me notes in my lunchbox, he was very involved and interested in my dancing, he sent me a dozen red roses on Valentine's Day while I was in college. He was thoughtful, understanding, and showed me what a husband ought to be like and more importantly he was a great Earthly picture of my Heavenly Father. No one can explain the uniqueness in a father daughter relationship unless you've experienced it. I wanted Ben to be able to have that and for me to be able to watch it unfold. The Lord knew all of those things, but he chose to give me another son. He is in control and knows what our family needs.
Thankfully my feelings of disappointment only lasted a little while. On the way home from school, I watched as the 2 boys gave each other high 5's and bumps in the car and my heart melted!! I love my boys and they give me such joy each day. Yes, they have LOTS of energy but they keep me on my toes and nothing is better than having your boys run and give you hugs and say I Love You Mommy!!!
Check out more sonogram pics at
http://picasaweb.google.com/brothermclain